How to Do Self-Care the Right Way
Self-care has become a popular buzzword in recent years, often associated with spa days, candles, skincare routines, or taking a break from responsibilities. While those things can absolutely feel relaxing and enjoyable, true self-care goes much deeper than temporary comfort.
As therapists, we often encourage clients to practice self-care not as a luxury, but as an essential part of maintaining mental health.
The reality is that effective self-care is less about escaping stress and more about building habits that help your mind and body recover, regulate, and function well over time.
So what does self-care actually look like when done in a healthy, sustainable way?
What Self-Care Really Means
Self-care is any intentional activity that supports your emotional, mental, or physical well-being. Good self-care helps regulate stress, improve resilience, and create balance in your life.
Importantly, self-care is not about perfection. And it doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive. It is often simple, intentional, and consistent habits that, over time, create a strong foundation for emotional health and resilience.
Research in psychology consistently shows that healthy lifestyle habits—such as quality sleep, social connection, movement, stress management, and emotional support—have a direct impact on overall mental health.
Why Self-Care Matters for Mental Health
When stress becomes chronic, the nervous system can stay stuck in a heightened state of alertness. Over time, this can contribute to:
Anxiety and irritability
Emotional exhaustion and burnout
Difficulty concentrating
Sleep disturbances
Increased risk of depression
Self-care practices help interrupt this cycle by signaling safety and regulation to the brain and body. In therapy, we often talk about self-care as preventative care—not just something to turn to when things become overwhelming.
The Most Beneficial Self-Care Practices
1. Prioritize Sleep
Sleep is one of the most overlooked aspects of mental health. Research shows that inadequate sleep significantly impacts mood, emotional regulation, memory, and stress tolerance.
Helpful sleep habits include:
Keeping a consistent sleep schedule
Reducing screen time before bed
Limiting caffeine late in the day
Creating a calming nighttime routine
2. Move Your Body Regularly
Exercise is strongly linked to reduced symptoms of anxiety and depression. Physical activity helps release endorphins, regulate stress hormones, and improve overall mood.
This doesn’t have to mean intense workouts. Walking, stretching, yoga, dancing, or any movement you enjoy can be beneficial.
3. Maintain Meaningful Social Connection
Humans are wired for connection, and isolation can negatively affect mental health over time. Spending time with supportive friends, family members, or community groups can improve emotional resilience and reduce feelings of loneliness.
4. Practice Mindfulness or Relaxation Techniques
Mindfulness, meditation, deep breathing, and grounding exercises have been shown to reduce stress and improve emotional regulation. These practices help slow racing thoughts and bring attention back to the present moment.
5. Set Healthy Boundaries
One of the most important forms of self-care is learning when to say no. Constant overcommitment can quickly lead to emotional exhaustion and resentment. Healthy boundaries protect your time, energy, and mental well-being.
6. Engage in Activities That Create Purpose or Joy
Self-care isn’t only about reducing stress—it’s also about increasing fulfillment. Hobbies, creative outlets, volunteering, spiritual practices, and meaningful activities can improve mood and create a stronger sense of purpose.
Self-Care Do’s and Don’ts
Self-Care Do’s
Do make self-care consistent instead of occasional. Small daily habits are often more effective than rare “reset days.”
Do focus on what actually restores you. Healthy self-care should leave you feeling more grounded, energized, or emotionally balanced.
Do pay attention to your emotional needs. Rest, connection, support, and emotional expression are all valid forms of self-care.
Do ask for help when needed. Seeking therapy or support is a form of self-care—not a sign of weakness.
Self-Care Don’ts
Don’t confuse avoidance with self-care. Ignoring responsibilities indefinitely, isolating completely, or numbing emotions may provide temporary relief but often worsen stress long-term.
Don’t compare your self-care to someone else’s. What works for one person may not work for another. Self-care should fit your personality, lifestyle, and needs.
Don’t wait until burnout to start caring for yourself. Preventative care is far more effective than trying to recover after complete exhaustion.
Don’t rely solely on “quick fixes.” While treats and relaxation can help temporarily, long-term mental health requires deeper habits like rest, support, boundaries, and emotional awareness.
Why Self-Care Can Feel Difficult
Many people struggle with self-care because they feel guilty slowing down or prioritizing themselves. Others may have spent years focused on taking care of everyone else first.
In therapy, we often explore the beliefs underneath this difficulty:
“I should always be productive.”
“Taking care of myself is selfish.”
“I don’t deserve rest until everything is done.”
Learning healthy self-care often requires changing these patterns and developing a more balanced relationship with yourself.
Schedule an Appointment
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or unsure where to begin, therapy can help.
Working with a therapist can provide practical tools, support, and personalized strategies to help you build healthier habits and manage stress more effectively.
If you’re ready to begin your journey toward mental well-being, contact us today to schedule an appointment.