Grief is a natural response to loss—but for children, it can be especially confusing and overwhelming. Whether a child is grieving the death of a loved one, a family separation, a move, or another significant change or life event, they often lack the language and emotional skills to fully express what they’re experiencing.

Child-centered counseling recognizes that children grieve differently than adults, and that healing happens best when support is developmentally appropriate, emotionally safe, and grounded in evidence-based care.

How Children Experience Grief

Children’s understanding of loss evolves as they grow. Their grief may appear in waves rather than as a steady emotional state and can show up through behavior rather than words.

Common signs of grief in children include:

• Regression (bedwetting, clinginess, thumb-sucking)

• Changes in sleep or appetite

• Emotional outbursts or withdrawal

• Difficulty concentrating or changes in school performance

• Physical complaints like stomachaches or headaches

• Play themes involving loss, separation, or death

Importantly, children often move in and out of grief, appearing fine one moment and deeply sad the next. This is a normal and healthy part of the grieving process.

Why Child-Centered Counseling Matters

Child-centered counseling meets children where they are emotionally and developmentally. Instead of expecting children to talk about their grief like adults, therapists use approaches that allow children to express and process loss in ways that feel natural and safe.

Research shows that early, supportive interventions can reduce the risk of complicated grief, anxiety, depression, and long-term emotional difficulties.

Evidence-Based, Child-Centered Counseling Approaches

1. Play Therapy

Play is a child’s natural language. In play therapy, children use toys, art, storytelling, and imaginative play to express feelings they may not yet have words for.

How it helps:

• Allows safe emotional expression

• Helps children process loss symbolically

• Supports emotional regulation and coping

Play therapy is strongly supported by research for children experiencing grief and trauma.

2. Trauma-Informed Therapy

When a loss is sudden, violent, or overwhelming, trauma-informed approaches help children feel safe and regain a sense of control.

How it helps:

• Reduces fear and hypervigilance

• Builds emotional safety and trust

• Helps process distressing memories gradually

This approach emphasizes pacing, predictability, and empowerment.

3. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Grief

CBT adapted for children focuses on the connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

How it helps:

• Identifies unhelpful beliefs (e.g., self-blame)

• Teaches coping and problem-solving skills

• Reduces anxiety and depressive symptoms

CBT has strong evidence supporting its effectiveness for childhood grief, especially when combined with caregiver involvement.

4. Attachment-Based Approaches

Grief often disrupts a child’s sense of safety and attachment. Attachment-focused therapy strengthens the child’s relationships with caregivers.

How it helps:

• Rebuilds emotional security

• Encourages healthy expression of needs

• Supports co-regulation between child and caregiver

Caregiver involvement is a key factor in positive outcomes.

5. Narrative Therapy

Narrative approaches help children make sense of their story and integrate the loss into their life narrative.

How it helps:

• Encourages a sense of meaning

• Reduces feelings of confusion and helplessness

• Honors the child’s relationship with the person or thing lost

Children may create stories, memory books, or drawings as part of this process.

Best Practices for Supporting Grieving Children

Effective grief counseling for children includes:

• Using age-appropriate language

• Normalizing grief reactions

• Allowing expression without pressure

• Maintaining routines and predictability

• Including caregivers in the therapeutic process

• Moving at the child’s pace

There is no “right” way for a child to grieve. Healing happens through patience, presence, and consistent support.

How Parents and Caregivers Are Involved

Child-centered counseling often includes guidance for parents and caregivers, helping them:

• Understand their child’s grief responses

• Respond with empathy and reassurance

• Maintain healthy boundaries and routines

• Model healthy coping and emotional expression

A Hopeful Path Forward

Grief is not something children simply “get over,” but with the right support, they can learn to carry their loss in ways that allow growth, resilience, and continued connection.

Child-centered counseling helps children feel seen, understood, and supported as they navigate grief—giving them tools that can benefit them throughout their lives.

When to Seek Professional Support

If your child’s grief is interfering with daily functioning, relationships, or emotional well-being, or if you’re unsure how to support them, child & adolescent therapy can help.

If you’d like to learn more about grief counseling for children, we invite you to reach out. Our therapists are experienced in child-centered, evidence-based approaches and are here to support your family through this difficult time.

Contact us to schedule an appointment.